If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
