I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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