your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
