guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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