I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
