This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
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