I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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