Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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