i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
