I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
