you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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