mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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