On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize