Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize