omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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