maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
