I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
