no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize