Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
