I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I have aggressive nipples.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Randomize
