She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
COCAINE IS GR8
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
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