i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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