I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
