What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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