at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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