why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Randomize
