dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
