Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
