i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
