come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
