I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
