i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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