Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
