Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened

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(973): View more from New Jersey

My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned

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(818): View more from California

She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?

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(609): View more from New Jersey

no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.

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(954): View more from Florida

just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything

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(703): View more from Virginia

Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"

(571): View more from Virginia

you make me proud to be your friend

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(765): View more from Indiana

A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.

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(308): View more from Nebraska

So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?

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(302): View more from Delaware

He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.

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