She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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