Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I think I sprained my soul last night
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
