was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
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