i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Randomize
