do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Randomize
