yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
She's the barista slut.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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