you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
my liver is dry heaving
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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