Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
