Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Randomize
