well I can't set my house on fire every night
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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