We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
