If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
