she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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