You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
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