Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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