I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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