if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
