Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
