Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Randomize