is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
