so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
