I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I love you. Go after that dick
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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