I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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