What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
