Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
