she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Omg I joined a choir last night...
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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