He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I wish there were birth control emojis
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
