So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
