is wine microwaveable?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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