People in love make me want to vomit
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Be still, my beating vagina.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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