I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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