I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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