Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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