You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
