I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
