if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
they're like a gay fantastic four
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
